From Brussels to Halle
Day 17
I continued walking after the video and I found myself wanting to get out of confusion and get back in the present. There was a line in front of me, on the pavement, and I said to myself that by crossing it, it would bring me back in perspective. Facing the line, and the possibility to let go of confusion, I hesitated.
Truth is I Iove being confused. Why? Because by my confusion I generate new ideas, I see different perspectives and it also means I don't know it all. No I don't. Not now, not ever. I only know my piece of my perspective and that is okay. And sometimes my perspective isn't satisfying my need for clarity or peace of mind. Confusion is good, because it means there are so many other ways and I am facing them, that is the confusing part. Not that they are there, but the fact that I realize that they are there. My witnessing of other paths.
I crossed the line with the sun kissing my forehead as I type "I'm in peace in my confusion".
Later on I had a call with a dear friend who supported me to ground myself. From the windy path I was walking (physical universe) and the unsettling thoughts, I found myself walking in slippery muddy paths (physical universe gave me a great opportunity to ground myself) and realizing in my mind that indeed I was busy again with the same things I was busy in the past. My love life.
Yes I want to have a partner with whom we will travel and explore the world and life together. To walk and pause and sing to each other with words, melodies and touch, and so much more, oh so much more, but I am telling you this: there is no partner perfect enough for a position already fixed in our heads.
So, I let go of the research. Maybe the pattern will come back. It's familiar and most probable it will return. When that happens I hope I will be ready. I hope I will have embodied how it feels to enjoy the process letting go of what the result may be. I want to remind myself that is not the result, but the process that make things turn out in a certain way. Just like my walk.
Aho.
Day 17
I continued walking and I found myself wanting to get out of confusion and get back in the present. There was a line in front of me, on the pavement, and I said to myself that by crossing it, it would bring me back in perspective. Facing the line, and the possibility to let go of confusion, I hesitated.
Truth is I Iove being confused. Why? Because by my confusion I generate new ideas, I see different perspectives and it also means I don't know it all. No I don't. Not now, not ever. I only know my piece of my perspective and that is okay. And sometimes my perspective isn't satisfying my need for clarity or peace of mind. Confusion is good, because it means there are so many other ways and I am facing them, that is the confusing part. Not that they are there, but the fact that I realize that they are there. My witnessing of other paths.
I crossed the line with the sun kissing my forehead as I type "I'm in peace in my confusion".
Later on I had a call with a dear friend who supported me to ground myself. From the windy path I was walking (physical universe) and the unsettling thoughts, I found myself walking in slippery muddy paths (physical universe gave me a great opportunity to ground myself) and realizing in my mind that indeed I was busy again with the same things I was busy in the past. My love life.
Yes I want to have a partner with whom we will travel and explore the world and life together. To walk and pause and sing to each other with words, melodies and touch, and so much more, oh so much more, but I am telling you this: there is no partner perfect enough for a position already fixed in our heads.
So, I let go of the research. Maybe the pattern will come back. It's familiar and most probable it will return. When that happens I hope I will be ready. I hope I will have embodied how it feels to enjoy the process letting go of what the result may be. I want to remind myself that is not the result, but the process that make things turn out in a certain way. Just like my walk.
Aho.